Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Woody's Being a Bo-Peeping Tom (Hanks)
October 26th, 1995
Dear Diary,
Today was a pretty good day. Sheeps 1 through 5 were acting up a little bit and I had to smack them into place. It's never fun having to discipline your sweet animals but it's part of the unglamorous side of being a shepherd that no one really talks about. Plus all of their plastic poop all over the floor, its incredible Andy doesn't wonder about it, he's always stepping in it. Hmm what else happened today... don't think anything really eventful went on except - oh yeah - OH MY GOD I TALKED TO WOODY TODAY. Andy came to play with us like normal and he did this whole thing about the evil Dr. Porkchop and his bank robberies and Woody was the Sheriff and he saved me and my flock! My tiny plastic heart about near melted out of my chest. He looks so cute in his hat and boots. But then the best part happened when I offered him to come over tonight after the toy meeting... I said "What do you say I get someone else to watch my sheep tonight?" and he SAID YES! Swoon. I'll update you tomorrow diary!
Love, Bo.
October 29th, 1995
Dear Diary,
AH new toys! We brought in some new friends today I was so excited! There's this strapping new space warrior named Buzz. He's cool but kind of a doosh. I'm worried about Woody he's been acting strange lately I can't tell how he feels about me anymore... It makes me kind of sad I think I'm gonna turn in early. Good night diary...
Bo.
November 1st, 1995
Woody's been really weirding me out. Ever since Buzz showed up he's been constantly comparing himself to him and trying to show me he's bigger and better. The worst is that he keeps trying to spend more time with me. It's exhausting honestly. Today, we heard Andy coming up the stairs and we pretended to be fake again and he sprinted all the way across the room just to "accidentally" be a fake toy on my lap. It was so uncomfortable. I think I'm gonna talk to him tomorrow and break off this whole thing. Good night diary.
Bo.
November 2nd, 1995
Diary I'm so scared.... I tried to talk to Woody yesterday and he wouldn't hear it. I think he got drunk off the liquor he's been stealing from the kitchen out of the thimble piece in the monopoly game. I said "Woody, I don't think this gonna work out." and he said "You can work out my woody anytime." When I started crying, he just started cackling and rambling about killing Buzz and taking over the world with a bellybag. I'm terrified, diary.
Bo.
November 6th, 1995.
Buzz is missing.... I think I might be next. Woody keeps saying things about me, saying that if I'm not careful, I'm not gonna make it to the third movie. What? What movie? He's crazy....right?
Bo.
June 7th, 2010
Oh, hello Bo's diary... It's been along time since anyone's written in you it seems... I came across you when I was going through Bo's things. Well here's what that bitch has been up to the last 15 years. After she rejected me for no reason back when Buzz first got here, she started icing me out. She made it painfully clear that she wants nothing to do with me. Well after a while I wanted nothing to do with her and after the rush of defeating that creep-o toy collector from the second adventure we all went out, I felt invincible. I was younger then. I was new to the disposal game then. It was messy. I took her and her pathetic sheep over to Andy's baking soda volcano he was doing for school and well... you get the idea. But if you don't get the idea, I pushed her in and her dumbs sheep jumped in after her and she was swallowed by the baking soda. It overcame her and burned her and started melting her plastic skin. I'm not sure what was sweeter, the sound of her screams or the pinkish white color she stained the lava as it oozed down the mountain. That should teach her not to love me. I got a taste for this and since then I've disposed of that annoying penguin that won't stop squeaking (garbage disposal) and those damn snooping wind up binoculars (fire place). So as you can see diary, I've moved on. I have a new thing going with Jessie. She could be my future. We're plotting Buzz's "accident" together. Stick around diary.
Woody.
Dear Diary,
Today was a pretty good day. Sheeps 1 through 5 were acting up a little bit and I had to smack them into place. It's never fun having to discipline your sweet animals but it's part of the unglamorous side of being a shepherd that no one really talks about. Plus all of their plastic poop all over the floor, its incredible Andy doesn't wonder about it, he's always stepping in it. Hmm what else happened today... don't think anything really eventful went on except - oh yeah - OH MY GOD I TALKED TO WOODY TODAY. Andy came to play with us like normal and he did this whole thing about the evil Dr. Porkchop and his bank robberies and Woody was the Sheriff and he saved me and my flock! My tiny plastic heart about near melted out of my chest. He looks so cute in his hat and boots. But then the best part happened when I offered him to come over tonight after the toy meeting... I said "What do you say I get someone else to watch my sheep tonight?" and he SAID YES! Swoon. I'll update you tomorrow diary!
Love, Bo.
October 29th, 1995
Dear Diary,
AH new toys! We brought in some new friends today I was so excited! There's this strapping new space warrior named Buzz. He's cool but kind of a doosh. I'm worried about Woody he's been acting strange lately I can't tell how he feels about me anymore... It makes me kind of sad I think I'm gonna turn in early. Good night diary...
Bo.
November 1st, 1995
Woody's been really weirding me out. Ever since Buzz showed up he's been constantly comparing himself to him and trying to show me he's bigger and better. The worst is that he keeps trying to spend more time with me. It's exhausting honestly. Today, we heard Andy coming up the stairs and we pretended to be fake again and he sprinted all the way across the room just to "accidentally" be a fake toy on my lap. It was so uncomfortable. I think I'm gonna talk to him tomorrow and break off this whole thing. Good night diary.
Bo.
November 2nd, 1995
Diary I'm so scared.... I tried to talk to Woody yesterday and he wouldn't hear it. I think he got drunk off the liquor he's been stealing from the kitchen out of the thimble piece in the monopoly game. I said "Woody, I don't think this gonna work out." and he said "You can work out my woody anytime." When I started crying, he just started cackling and rambling about killing Buzz and taking over the world with a bellybag. I'm terrified, diary.
Bo.
November 6th, 1995.
Buzz is missing.... I think I might be next. Woody keeps saying things about me, saying that if I'm not careful, I'm not gonna make it to the third movie. What? What movie? He's crazy....right?
Bo.
June 7th, 2010
Oh, hello Bo's diary... It's been along time since anyone's written in you it seems... I came across you when I was going through Bo's things. Well here's what that bitch has been up to the last 15 years. After she rejected me for no reason back when Buzz first got here, she started icing me out. She made it painfully clear that she wants nothing to do with me. Well after a while I wanted nothing to do with her and after the rush of defeating that creep-o toy collector from the second adventure we all went out, I felt invincible. I was younger then. I was new to the disposal game then. It was messy. I took her and her pathetic sheep over to Andy's baking soda volcano he was doing for school and well... you get the idea. But if you don't get the idea, I pushed her in and her dumbs sheep jumped in after her and she was swallowed by the baking soda. It overcame her and burned her and started melting her plastic skin. I'm not sure what was sweeter, the sound of her screams or the pinkish white color she stained the lava as it oozed down the mountain. That should teach her not to love me. I got a taste for this and since then I've disposed of that annoying penguin that won't stop squeaking (garbage disposal) and those damn snooping wind up binoculars (fire place). So as you can see diary, I've moved on. I have a new thing going with Jessie. She could be my future. We're plotting Buzz's "accident" together. Stick around diary.
Woody.
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